Realities of Life As We Grow Older: A 28 Year Old’s Perspective
‘When I was a child, I understood as a child, but when I became a man, I put away childish things.’ -I Corinthians 13:11.
Adulthood
It’s amazing how much we looked forward to adulthood in our younger years. Stuck in our adult-mandated schedules, we admired and yearned for the freedom being older would bring. Seeing adults indulge in things from which we were forbidden- late bedtime, raunchy movies and scenes, affording nice meals, going to the mall at any moment…little did we know…
If you’re below 16 years reading this piece, I suggest you stop here. Don’t log in to TikTok, go out and enjoy the sun. Walk with your headphones or earbuds on, enjoy doing nothing. Take a long walk, go out on adventures with friends…because one day those are the stories you will get to tell. In the bad moments, those memories will make the day more colorful.
Adulthood is one of those rollercoaster moments, this minute you think you have it all figured out and actually decide that that is the way you’ll be doing things, until something unexpected comes up and that style no longer works. Or if it does, you have to iterate. It’s such an interesting ride.
I’m a young adult just learning how to navigate this ship. At first, I was all excited being independent away from my parents constant direction, or under the scrutiny of some higher authority, until I learned what it all meant. That I was now in charge…of myself. No one would pull me out of bed, I had the choice to sleep on, but be ready for the repercussions. I had to learn the value of investing and planning my money…budgeting. I realized the cause and effect element of everyday living. That one bad choice could disorient and disorganize my life for days, weeks, months…even years.
Moreover, in a sudden turn of events, my agemates, those we used to laugh with, joke around with…had their second child, were getting married. It was finally happening, what we used to idealize and fantasize about, just not in the way we thought.
Finding Purpose
Maybe it’s how I was raised, educated or observed from movies and society, but I thought that once I graduated uni I would have this aha moment of what I was supposed to do with my life. That it would all come in an instance, like ‘so this is why I’m here! This is my purpose!’ OH how wrong I was! It didn’t take too long to realize that everyone was just winging it. Trying what they were good at, going at it until it worked. Well not everyone, some do find their true purpose if there is such a thing. But I found out that true purpose is what you find meaningful. One persons’ true purpose could be another’s worst nightmare. Take the case of huge corporations like Shell for instance, which contribute trillions of dollars to the global economy and keep engines running. They could be an engineers marvel, passion, true purpose. Greta Thunberg however, would rather burn it all to the ground.
I found that you do not got to have a special, massively society-impacting job to find your true purpose. It starts from the small things, like helping out the homeless in your neighborhood or educating a child who is not your own. You do not got to have some charity in the most poverty-stricken areas of the world or contribute millions of dollars to a cause. Even coaching the local kids in their local game is a form of purpose. True purpose, according to me involves adding joy to someone’s heart. Bringing a smile to another’s face, making their lives a little bit better even though it’s just for a moment.
Overcoming Desire
I used to watch what I would call vanity content- about how millionaires made their money and look forward to when I would be one. But no one prepares you for the rough road to that goal. They do say it will not be easy, but you’re the one who decides if the goal is worth it. I now find it a bit shallow to having millions as a goal since in my experience so far, the millions should follow you. If you want to be a millionaire, unless you plan to play the lottery for the rest of your life, desire is something you will have to overcome. I had to.
Ironically, the content that pushes us to want to be millionaires is motivated by desire. The people driving McLarens, Lamborghinis and three-storey mansions on acres. It takes a discerning person to realize that that is just content. Millionaires overcame several obstacles and enticements, including buying expensive items before the time was right. They sacrificed. A large number also had people around them not believing in their ideas, some even living in garages while their peers abode comfortably. All because of their dreams. What kept them going was not the millions, it was the businesses and ideas in which they believed. If it was the millions, they would have given up prematurely.
Desire to get rich, to succeed, it has to go if you want success. I know, it sounds crazy, but this desire might have you living beyond your means trying to convince others and yourself that you are well on your way to millionaire status. Or engaging in unscrupulous fast-money deals and schemes that leave you worse off.
Sacrificing current consumption for future indulgence. Easier said than done in a materialistic world.
But then, you don’t have to be a millionaire. If you desire a comfortable life, make the right choice, play it safe and wise and live. It is perfectly okay, actually it is amazing.
I found that success involves numerous risks. Sometimes you will go all in on something that might fail or succeed. But what’s the point if you just hold back and think, plan? In my experience, you’d rather take the action and learn in the doing. Having a certain amount of information before you make such a move helps however, in getting you prepared for any consequences.
A Higher Power
I know not everyone believes in God, but I’m not ashamed to say I have experienced their existence. In my opinion, believing a fellow creation's sole explanation of the universe’s coming into being is like living in a segregated community in the rural areas and getting brainwashed by whatever they tell you. You only know what you’re supposed and allowed to know. Humanity might build all the machines and come up with all explanations for what is, but the truth remains that there is a higher power behind all this-what we call life. Whether it is a game or not, how you choose to see it depends on you. God is just what humanity calls this Higher Power, they obviously do not possess this human-assigned title.
In my experience, acknowledging the existence of a Higher Power requires acknowledging your mere human nature. You are just human.
Obviously there are thousands, if not millions of explanations regarding who is ‘the true God.’ In my life, I chose to have Jesus Christ as my Higher Power, based on personal experience. Not religion, not because I was raised as a Catholic. I was actually an atheist for sometime, searching for meaning. However, I chose to acknowledge that yes, I was a god, a creator, but there was One who was the God. The path to finding this God is a personal one, not one motivated or driven by some religion or church. These societal structures introduce humanity to the concept of this God’s existence, but not their true nature.
If you observe how nature works, including the ‘taboo’ human elements like sexual desire and the murderous food chain in the wild, you will find that the true nature of God is unlike what is taught by religion. It is way beyond, and only those truly seeking to find the truth will find it. Humility is the first path to finding this truth.
Conclusion
I want to read this article in the next year, two or three, correcting myself where I was wrong. Because right now, I’m just 28. I probably know nothing. These are just the opinions and experiences of a 28 year old, but I have often seen 40, 50 even 60 year old’s saying that they barely knew anything when they were my age, when they thought they had it all figured out. I find this to be truly fascinating. Nevertheless, I would like to think that I don’t not know anything.
I would like some insights to life from people different from me. I am an open-minded person and love hearing divergent opinions. Comments are so welcome!
